When a Magnus loves a womanman
by Simbylosis
Summary: Magnus really, really likes Alex...but he has many obstacles in the way. Like another einherji, the Chase Space, and Alex ignoring him. Will he be able to have Alex, or will he fail as epicly as he always does? Read to find out.
1. The Competition

**THE COMPETITION**

Me and Alex were walking back to Valhalla, tired from a long day of work from the Chase Space. A bag of chocolate coffee beans in my right hand, and Alex's hand in the other, we walked the streets of Boston like normal teenagers. Of course, we knew we could never be normal teenagers.

A valkyrie flew over our heads, carrying a figure with blue hair. Alex seemed intrigued, and pulled me along, urging me to get to Valhalla faster.

Once we got there, I saw Hunding and Helgi. Both had dreamy looks on their faces, the trance was broken when Hunding saw me. Or maybe he just saw my bag of chocolates.

"By Odin's beard, kid!", he dove for the bag of chocolate, cradling it like a baby. Helgi just grunted, then he walked back to the reception table. I glanced curiosly down the hall, looking for the new arrival, but seeing none of him.

"Looking for the new kid, Magnus?", Hunding asked.

Alex was already walking to the elevator, but I decided that I had enough time to get some information. "Yeah, what about him? Why's he got you and Helgi all dreamy looking?" Hunding looked between me and Alex, shaking his head. "You've got competition, Magnus. That new boy will whisk every damsel here of her feet, then leave her like that."

My heart beat like a sports car on asphalt, "Competition? Like, for Alex?" Hunding shook his head, "For every single dame that's in Valhalla." Then he pushed me towards Alex.

"What was that all about?", she asked. Her brown and amber eyes glinting like gems. I shrugged, "Something about competition…I don't know." Alex gave me an amused smile, "Competition? Are you jealous, Magnus?" My lips flopped like a fish, and I might have also spoken fish, but Alex spared me. "Don't worry Maggie, I'll bet e ain't as cute as you."

She hustled into the elevator, me on her tail. "Cute? I thought you said last time that I had a pretty face." Alex shrugged, "You're cute when you're jealous." My face burned, "I'm not jealous." Alex laughed and squeezed my cheek, "Then why are you blushing as pink as my sweater?" It was true, my cheeks were as pink as Alex's sweater, and that was a description I did not need.

We got out, and Alex bumped into a mess of blue. Alex and the blue-haired guy tumbled into a heap on the ground. I grabbed Alex's arm, helping her up, then I saw the other guy's face. It was a clean cut, his blue hair covering half of his left eye, his toothy grin similar to Alex's.

"So sorry about that…miss?" He extended his hand towards Alex, obviously in a gesture of hand shake. Alex took it, a smile on her face. "Not most people get my gender right at first try.", she said. The guy just smiled, "I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. Where are my manners? The name's Jazz, Blake Jazz." Alex crossed her arms smugly, "Alex Fierro."

She glanced over at Blake's checkered, blue-and-black shirt, nodding at his blue-and-black pants as well. "You dress nice…Blake." He held another smile with Alex, "Why, I could say the same about you too." Alex blushed, "Why, thank you."

I felt left out in the conversation, why did I feel left out? 'Because you're standing akwardly between your crush and a potential enemy you idiot', my brain answered. Stupid brain. "Alex? We still need to get ready, it's Dragon Thursday." Alex moved sluggishly, like a snail. "Um, see you later then…Blake." He winked at her, "No prob."

Alex leaned on me, her breath heavy. "Thanks Maggie, that guy had me on overdrive for some reason…oh, crud. I mean…just get me to my room." She looked flustered, out of breath, and totally confused. Not like Alex to be like this… "Are you sure you're okay Alex?" She nodded her head vigorously, "Yeah Beantown, now go. Like you said, we need to get ready for Dragon Thursday. If you can call those floppy Lindworms dragons." I nodded, just as she slammed the door in my face.

"So much for getting ready, at least together." "I heard that!", Alex yelled from inside her room. I blushed, then hastily ran back to my own room.

 _-5 minutes later_

Alex came out of his room, new gender, new clothes, and definitely a new look. He still seemed flustered about earlier day's events, but he was ready for combat. I hoped. "Well, Magnus? How do I look?" Alex sported new green and pink jeans ('Where the hell does he get these clothes?'), and a matching pink and green jersey with the number 13 stitched into the side. "It's…a fashion statement."

He gave me a smile that warmed the room 10 degrees more, "Thanks." Then he whipped out his garrotte and headed into battle, hopefully he wasn't going lindworm riding. He had made me try it before, and it wasn't a very nice experience. It involved a lot of bucking, the smell of rotten lindworm, and Alex having to save me from lindworm belly flops.

I heard someone sneak up behind me, then I saw Blake standing behind me. "Holy Odin!", I yelled. He raised his hands in a 'wait' gesture. "Sorry about that, guess I was a bit creepier than I thought." In his hands were twin cymbals, I really hoped he didn't plan to kill me via cymbal clash.

He glanced at the cymbals I was looking at, "Oh, these? They're great weapons, I tell you. Good as shields, clashing things, or deadly shurikens. They're really great." My adam's apple bobbed dangerously. "Wanna' see it in action?", he asked. "We're floor mates man…" His eyebrow raised up, "Yeah…so what?"

The last thing I saw was a yellow cymbal slicing my neck off.

 _-right before dinner_

I woke up, ravens pecking at my arms like they were made of juicy seeds. "Scram you stupid birds." They flew away, but I could hear their thoughts easily. 'Stupid Frey-son' 'Not even a juicy seed' 'Kaw-kaw!' The last one really didn't make sense to me.

Once I got to the feast hall, the Valkyrie Vision show was already starting. I took a seat next to Alex, who glared at me like, 'Why'd you die so fast, idiot?' I told her to put a sock in it as I took in the video.

It showed Blake playing a violin in the middle of a street, when a big guy took hold of this lady who was watching and carried her into an alley. Blake got up, a cymbal in his hand, then he walked into the alley. The footage was pretty shaky after that, but I got glimpses of blood, a flying cymbal, violins, guitar shrieks, and more blood.

The last scene was Blake being carried by the Valkyrie, his cymbals still in his hand. There was silence when the screen blacked out. Then everyone cheered. I was sure that almost every single Erik in the hall clapped and wept at the gory scene they had just seen.

Helgi stood up and clapped, a tear forming in his eye, "Behold Blake Jazz, Son of Bragi!" A majority of claps went up from the crowd. A frown formed on my face, Bragi…wasn't I supposed to get him to make a poem or something for Jack? Aw, crud.

Mallory's face turned into something with amusement, "Our new hallmate is a son of Bragi? This should be interesting." Alex shrugged, "At least his fighting skills are better than Magnus' skills." "Hey!", I said, offended a bit at her words. She chewed on her beef and blinked at me innocently, "Aw, I'm so sorry wittle-wittle baby Maggie." I rolled my eyes, "You're gonna' get me killed someday", I muttered.

But she just had to hear it, curse Alex's sonic hearing. "What did you say, Maggie?" She put her face inches apart from mine, her lime breath seeping into my lungs. "Well Maggie?" My breath faltered, my heart failed to work. "I thought so.", then she moved away, her presence still intoxicating my mind.

Curse myself for sitting next to Alex Fierro. Well, tommorow was another day. Then I walked back to the elevator to enjoy sleep once more.

(how was that for my 1st chap? Pretty long if I do say so myself, get ready…im uploading the next chap really soon!)


	2. A Few More Tastes

**A FEW MORE TASTES**

I woke up with an amazingly large amount of green hair on my face. My first thought was, 'Alex?', then it was, 'I can't breathe.', and finally, 'Wait…Alex?'. I was saved from the embarrasing death of green hair when Alex woke up. But I was about to be killed by utter embarrasment, worse than green hair. I realized that I had no shirt on, and Alex was lying on it, her head placed right where my heart was beating. And oh, it was beating pretty fast.

"Morning, Maggie." She crawled up my body, until we were both face level with each other, her face inches apart from mine, again. "Um…," my brain was thinking about something to say that would get me out of this situation with my dignity intact, but Alex had already fried and short-circuited my brain cells, "How did you get into my bed?"

Thinking back, I probably should have worded that question differently. Alex looked at me like I had green hair in my mouth, then I realized that I did. I pulled it out, Alex's amused face staring at me. Her brown and amber eyes glinted like gems, her lips twitching as she stared at me. Then she said one word that ruined the moment completely, "Lizard."

My brain was like, 'Lizard? Is there a lizard sticking out of my mouth?'. Then I realized that she had answered the question of how she got into my bed. I hate that question right now. Lizard could be translated in many ways, a magical lizard helped her open my door, another Einherji named Lizard broke my door, or she shape-shifted into a lizard and just crawled in. All this, my brain processed in the span of a few seconds.

She kissed me lightly, our lips barely touching, then she got up and stretched like a lazy cat. My brain cells had exploded into putty, only one question surfaced in my mind. "Why are you here?" She looked at me like I was stupid, which I probably was. "We're going back to the Chase Space, remember?" And I did remember, albeit sadly since Alex had to remind me. Today really excited her though, it was after all, 'Alex Day'.

The day where Alex would have tons of fun bringing the kids around the house, around town, or even to that little ice cream shop the kids loved. Although I was a bit bummed on 'Magnus Day', since none of the kids wanted to come with me to go hiking, or falafel eating, or whatever activity I had planned. It was quite a bummer.

"Can I use your bathroom?", she asked. I said yes, but not before remembering that a collection of my underwear was still in there. But it was too late, Alex had entered the bathroom. Those were not words I ever thought I would dread. Soon, she would burst out into fits of laughter, and I'd be remembered as the guy who let a girl walk into a bathroom filled with his undies. But that didn't happen, all I could hear was Alex humming, and the sound of clothing being tossed onto the floor. Perhaps the cleaning crew had gotten rid of it last night…perhaps…

 _-at the Chase Space_

"Alex is here! Alex is here!", all the kids yelled happily and ran towards Alex, wrapping her in a happy group hug. Or a group tackle, whichever suits best. She smiled at them happily, her eyes glinting more than usual. "I have a surprise for all of you on our trip today!", she said. "Yay, Alex Day!", the kids chorused. Then Alex led them outside, me following behind her.

"So where are we going?" She looked at me and rolled her eyes, "When have I ever told you where we're going Magnus?" 'Never', my brain answered. Stupid, inconsiderate brain. Alex led us along near the ice cream shop, and I thought I would have to become an ice cream chef again, long story, but thankfully, she walked past it.

A lot of pedestrians and by-standers looked at us weirdly, probably because we had a tail of kids on us, and we didn't exactly look like parents. Especially not parents of like…I paused for a second to count all the kids, 17 kids. I mean, who could or would have that many kids? Definitely not me, or Alex. Hopefully not Alex.

Then we walked into a store that had a sign that read, 'Niflheim Frozen Goodies'. "Um, Alex?" I really didn't want to wander into a store that advertised Niflheim, the world of Primordial Ice and Snow. "Don't worry, I can always kiss you if you freeze up", she said. That left me with red spots on my face, and 17 giggling kids. Curse you, Alex.

The place was very colorful, the walls were painted with bright splashes of neon green, neon yellow, neon orange, and more neon colors. A big, burly man that I could only identify as a giant loome over us. He wasn't really scary though, what with the big yellow coat, bright orange pants, bulging red clown shoes, and green goatee. "Welcome to my store , children!", he said.

His belly rippled with every word, forming waves of yellow belly fat. "What do you sell, o' big one?", I asked politely. His laugh sounded like a cross between a truck horn, and an orangutan yelling. "Of course I sell only the best snow cones, frozen yogurt, cakes, and ice cream in all the nine worlds!" I really hoped the kids took the last word as a metaphor, or a hyperbole or something. Last thing I needed was to heal every kids mind from being exposed to the nine worlds.

The giant led us into a frosty room filled with snow, racks filled with snow cones, yogurt, and ice cream lined one side of the room. While racks filled with snowball guns, snowball catapults, and snowball grenades lined the other side. "Eat and have fun! You can pay in Midgard currency, or Nine Worlds currency. Unless of course, you have an Asgardian Debit Card?" I looked over at Alex, she shook her head. The giant nodded as if he encountered this all the time, "What is your manner of payment then?" Alex extended her hand, a pouch filled with what I assumed was red gold in it. The giant took it, peered inside, and nodded.

"You can stay for as long as you want, enjoy! And leave a good review for the Asgardian Business Council!" Then he trundled off, perhaps to shop for new stoplight-colored clothes. Alex raised her hands in question, "Well, what are we waiting for?" The kids split in half, others going for the snow cones, and the rest going for the snowball guns. I smiled at Alex, "It was really nice of you to do that." She blushed, "Thanks…" Then I got hit in the head with a snowball.

I looked over at Daisy, the kid who had shot me with her snowball gun. That was a bad move on my part, since she shot me again right smack in my forehead. "Oh, it's on." I ran over to the snowball grenade section, grabbed a ton, and made it fly over to the general direction of Daisy. I heard a scream, followed by an explosion of white powder. "Bullseye."

Then a large snowball grenade appeared between my feet, and I got dusted in snow. Brushing the snow out of my eyes, I saw Alex holding the same type of grenade in her hand. "Sorry 'bout that, Maggie!" Then she tossed another one at me, I barely managed to bat it away with my hand. That was how we spent most of that day. Snow cones, snowballs, dumped in a basket of yogurt. Yeah, fun times.

 _-6:00 PM_

Me and Alex walked back to Valhalla, the wind whipping in our ears, the cold stinging our skin. She held my hand, her arm wrapped around my waist, trying to get some sort of heat. I let my frey-warmth go, but the cold really seeped into my bones, chilling me deep. Probably worse for Alex though, she was after all, as wiry as her garrotte.

A strong breeze whipped past us, and Alex hugged me even tighter. We took shelter in a diner, sitting down in the nearest booth. Alex leaned into me, her body shivering. I let her hug me tighter, my ribs were cracking under her grip. A waitress came up to us, a menu in her hand. "Something hot? Coffee or hot cocoa?" I took the menu, my hand shivering as well. "H-hot mashed p-potato salad, and t-two cocoa infused c-coffees." I handed back the menu, the waitress nodded and left.

Alex clung onto my arm, her head buried in my chest, her teeth chattering like those wind-up chatter teeth toys. She slowly raised her head, her smile warming the room. I suddenly felt more summery than I ever have, and Alex's lips looked really delicious…shut up brain! But Alex seemed to have the same idea, as she grabbed my head, dipping it into her waiting mouth.

I'd tasted it a few times before, but her mouth tasted better every time I got wind of it. This kiss was deeper though…more, passionate. Our tongues clashed, fighting for dominance, her hands running wild across my back. She pressed herself against me, her hands suddenly going for the front of my shirt. We were stopped by the loud cough of the waiting waitress, a tray with our coffee in her hand. She set it down on the table, before saying, "Get a hotel room or something, this diner isn't a rowdy house." Then she briskly left.

Alex took the cup of coffee, sipping it and sighing. "Thanks, Magnus. A lot." I laid back and sipped my own coffee, "For what?" She looked at me and rolled her eyes for the third time that day, "For the coffee, for the warmth, for the…kiss…" Her blush clearly showed how she felt about that kiss. "We should try it again.", I said. She looked at me over the brim of her cup, her eyes glinting in an amused fashion. "Yeah…soon."

Then she tossed a wad of cash onto the table, grabbed my hand, and pulled me outside. "Come on," she said, "let's find a place to crash at." Then she pulled me along to find a hotel.

(sorry it took so long to send out the next chap, but it's pretty long, and real nice)


	3. God of Messenger

(sorry it took so long to update guys)

 **GOD OF MESSENGER**

Alex pulled me towards the nearest hotel, a place called, 'Hermes Palace'. The name reminded me of someone, but who…I wasn't sure. Perhaps I heard it in Valhalla before…perhaps. Alex wasted no time, buying us the only kind of room available, a suite.

"A suite, seriously?" Alex just shrugged, "Unless you want the french lover's room, I don't see a better option." She was most probably right.

"I'm hungry though, you pulled me away from the diner before my mashed potato arrived." Alex rolled her eyes and pushed me to the general direction of the only restaurant in the whole hotel. Well, it would be generous to call it a restaurant, more like a stall. It was bright yellow, almost like the Big Banana. Long story, you can buy it at your local bookstore for like, 15 bucks.

A big yellow sign with red letters hung above it, 'Better than Nectar'. Nectar? Wasn't that like…bee sap or something? A man who wore a brown cap that had tiny wings on the sides, tended to the stall. In his hand was a small phone, an antenna protruding from the top, wrapped with two green ropes. Wait a second…those are snakes!

The man turned toward us, a grin on his face. "Welcome! I'm Hermes, owner of this fine hotel, and currently also the chef of thise fine restaurant. I scratched my chin, holding Jack the magical runestone ruefully. "And the-uh…snake-phone? Not the latest release of Apple® I hope?"

Hermes eyed me suspiciously. "You're a demigod…you can see through the Mist…" Alex piped up from beside me, "You mean glamour?" Hermes nodded as if Alex had just explained everything, "Vikings. I knew Boston wasn't the best place to start business."

"The Mist…Annabeth mentioned that…" Now I was sure that Hermes was interested in me, and not in the 'I like, like you' kind of way. "Annabeth…tell me kid, what's your name?" I gulped, "Angus Cheese…and this is…uh, Lexa Ferrero." Alex should have been glad I came up with a decent name for her, but she still punched me in the shoulder.

"Angus Cheese? I know a lie when I hear one Angus. So I know that you're related to Annabeth Cheese! Er, I mean Annabeth Chase." A tight smile formed on my face upon hearing Annabeth Cheese. "So are you her cousin, her brother?" Alex saved my life, via common sense. "And why should we tell you? We don't know who you are."

"I am Hermes!-" "You already said that.", I said. "-the messenger God!" I raised my eyebrow, "So you're the God of that facebook thingy? Messenger?" Hermes glared at me, "No! Well…I did help create it…and I was one of the beta testers. But that's not the point! I send messages everywhere! Without me, there would be no messages!"

"But…you use Messenger, right?" Hermes looked ready to bash my face in with his snake-phone, and right on cue, one of the snakes spoke up. "Hi, I'm George. Do you have any rats?" I stumbled back, then gave back what I hoped was a witty response. "No, I don't. But my friend Alex could turn into a rat and you could eat her." This resulted with Alex whapping me in the head.

The other snake also started to speak, "Don't be rude, George. We just met him! And does he look like he has a rat?" I looked myself over, snowcone dye on my shirt, dried yogurt on my pants. I might have a rat or two somewhere.

"Well, you came here to eat right?" I nodded. "So, I have some combo meals. Ambrosia waffle & fruit nectar, fresh parma pasta & nectar-infused tomato sauce, and Jackson's famous blue cookies & blue nectar-lemonade." I blinked the menu out of my eyes. "Jackson? Like, Michael Jackson?"

Hermes gave me a look like, 'You stupid.' He was probably right. "I mean Percy Jackson. Not old Michael. That guy really hated Pepsi though." I didn't dare ask why, for all I knew, Michael Jackson was an einherji in Valhalla. "I'll take the pasta & tomato combo.", Alex said. "Jackson's famous.", I said.

Hermes nodded in agreement. "Great choices. Now let me just get them out of the freezer." He opened a large, cabinet-sized freezer, taking out two styrofoam packages. He set them on the counter then blasted them with godly power. The styrofoam popped, leaving a small basket of cookies. Alex's pasta laid on top of a bronze, square plate. At least her's was a bit dignified, my basket was pretty lame.

Then a glass of sparkling, blue liquid was plopped onto the counter. A candy-cane straw was laid next to it, along with a wedge of lemon. "It's lemonade, why do I need more lemon?" "To counter the nectar.", Hermes said.

I took a blue cookie, the cookie dripped with honey-colored ooze, seeming to come from inside the cookie. I took a bite, and the taste exploded in my mouth. The chocolate tasted velvety, and the cookie dough was the best I had ever tasted. Needing more, I squeezed the lemon into the glass, and drank half of it.

"I wouldn't do that!", Hermes yelped. But it was too late, I had drunk too much already. The lemonade tasted divine, but it burned and scarred my throat. My hand trembled, the glass threathening to slip out of my hand. "Nectar can kill you if you drink too much! That's why there's a straw!", he took the galss from my hands, placing the straw in before giving it back.

"Are you okay?" My throat was parched, I had drunk so much, but it felt like I hadn't drunk anything in weeks. "My throat…" Hermes nodded, "At least you're still alive." He gave me a glass of yellow-green liquid, "Apollo's healing juice." I took it and downed it in three swigs. "It's made from Apollo's tears, sweat, spit and blood.", Hermes said. I almost retched, I had just drunk Kvasir's blood-and-spit mead not too long ago, and I didn't fancy drinking another.

Alex looked at me with geniune concern. "Are you okay, Beantown? Are you dying?" I shook my head. My throat was feeling better, but my stomach was churning. Like I mixed acid, mead, and a bunch of other chemicals. "Nah, I'm good…just a few more cookies." But Hermes took it away, along with my juice, and Alex's pasta.

"Hey! I'm not finished yet!", Alex complained. "The Asgardian Business Council is here, you both better hide. The elevator is over there, get to your rooms before he spots you.", Hermes said. "Before who spots us?", I asked. But Alex was already pulling me towards the elevator. Just as the elevator doors closed, I saw Odin walk towards Hermes in his stall.

(that's it for this chap, next one is coming over the weekend most probably!)


	4. The Revelation

(another sorry for taking so long to update, I was very busy practicing for this singing competition thing, and I won silver trophy, 'yay', but anyway, here's the 4th chap, enjoy!)

 **The Revelation**

As soon as we stepped into the elevator, we bumped into someone with blue hair.

"Hello, Alex.", Blake said.

Alex blushed, then hid her face behind mine. "She meant to say 'hello'. Right, Alex?", I said.

She waved her hand from behind me.

"I'll escort you to your room.", Blake said. Taking Alex's hand, then pulling her to a totally different hotel room.

Before I could say anything about that, Alex was already inside, Blake had locked the door, and he was staring at me with a malicious gleam in his eyes.

"Magnus Chase…it's been fun toying with you and your little trans-gender friend, but it's time you know why I'm here."

"To kill me?", I asked.

He laughed, his blue hair waving like it was trying to get off his head. "No, no, Magnus Chase. I'm here to offer you a quest."

"Another quest?"

Blake nodded. "This is different though. You will travel through different worlds, er, mythologies I mean."

"WHUTTTTTT."

"Don't worry", Blake assured me, "the Kanes have arranged for your transport."

"Canes? Like…candy canes, or old-man canes?"

"They're a very powerful family of Egyptian magicians.", Blake said.

"So…"

"No. They don't turn handkerchiefs into pigeons, and they don't pull rabbits out of hats."

"And do they have…"

"No, they don't wear top hats."

"I was going to ask if they had like, a school for magicians."

"Oh…", Blake said. "Well, they do have schools, but they're called nomes."

"Gnomes? Those, garden decorations?"

"Nomes. No 'g'."

"What the $%* does this have to do with me?"

"That is for me to know…and for you to find out."

Then Blake disappeared in a puff of blue smoke.

"I need to contact Annabeth…crud, I forgot my phone at Valhalla."

(How do u guys like the twist? Do u guys want Blake to be bad, good, or secretive? Pls review ur answer!)


	5. It get's weird

(many of you guys wanted Blake to be bad…so…yeah, here it is!)

 **It get's weird**

With Blake promising to take care of Alex, I ran back to Valhalla. Of course, I didn't exactly trust Blake and his so called 'candy cane magicians', but I still had to make sure. Once I got to my room though, I realized it had been ransacked…by something…or someone…

A blue tuft of hair lay on my bed, along with a note.

"Dear Magnus,

Do not worry, I mean Alex no harm. However, I will have to hurt her if you do not comply with my wishes. You will kill the person I despise the most, Carter Kane. Kill him in any ways possible, as long as he dies.

If you fail to kill him within 7 days, you will have to rescue the green one from the grasp of Ginunggagap.

Happy hunting,

Blake

I held my head in my hands and shook my head. I mean seriously…my life sucked. But perhaps this Carter Kane person was a horrible villain anyways…wouldn't hurt to rid this world of evil.

But then I would deal with Blake soon…very soon…

"Where's my phone?"

I searched my whole room, but it was nowhere to be found. "Maybe I can send a raven…"

I tried to go into T.J.'s room, but it was locked. I tried knocking. No answer.

"T.J.?"

He was probably at one of the classes, 'Flyting to Death' most probably.

But I had a sudden thought…what if Blake wanted this? What if he didn't want me to contact Annabeth…because she would know the truth? I ran out of Hotel Valhalla…and found my self in Brooklyn.

(guys, pls review what you think should happen next, and just keep supporting, stay tuned!)


	6. I get toilet treatment

(I can understand if you guys are like, really mad at me because it took me THIS long to write the next chapter, but I promise to update more frequently)

 **I get toilet paper treatment**

I was pretty sure that I wasn't supposed to end up in Brooklyn if I stepped out of the Hotel Valhalla. Did I accidentally manage to activate the world tree somehow? I didn't think so. I was standing in a graveyard, stepping right on a tombstone. My first instinct would have been to quickly step off, but something caught my attention.

Right where the nameplate should have been was a tuft of green hair. Under it was the word 'soon'. I knew I had to find this Kane person and ...and what? Fight him?

I felt a sharp stick poking my back so I turned around. A girl in combat boots was pointing a stick at me and frowning. "Walt, wrap this guy up.", she motioned to a guy dressed in black behind her. Then she pointed back at me, "And don't you move or I will Ha-di you into lego bricks."

I didn't know what that meant, but I doubted it included free falafel.

The guy between me muttered something under his breath and I found that I couldn't move a muscle. My limbs were frozen, it reminded me of the time I nearly became an Einherjar-sicle in the snowy hell ofJotunheim.

I was broken out of my thoughts as I was wrapped in toilet paper.

I woke up in an antique room, my arms had returned to circulation and I sighed in relief. I brought out Jack from his pendant form, and winced as he burst into song. "I'm never gonna' give you up! Im never gonna…", Jack suddenly noticed that he was, in fact not in pendant form and could be heard singing. "Oh hey, compadre! What's the business today? Magicians? Blue hair?"

I swear, Jack has to be listening in on my conversations when he's in pendant form, there's just no explanation. "Yeah, spot on. Look I'm gonna open that door a tiny bit then you'll slip out and see if there's anyone outside. If there is, you bash them over the head. Got it?

"Sure…and what are you supposed to do in the meanwhile?" he asked. "Jack, this is no tie for you to argue with me, just go." His runes turned a violent shade of red, "Hey, if anyone here is acting angry, it's you."

Jack's voice had gone up an octave, and it was starting to sound more like a yell than just talking. "Shush. Simmer down, we might get found out." Jack started pulsing orange and red like warning lights, "Shush? Shush?! What am I, a dog? Why I ought to leave you here!"

And at that exact time, the door burst open.

(I promise to update real soon, review for story ideas!)


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